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2004-09-22 - 2:11 a.m. I find myself feeling kinda down. About two or three entries ago (which was actually almost a year ago) I was writing about how I was getting into the indie scene. I was listening to bands like Hot Hot Heat and stuff and going to Clark concerts. And I was starting to befriend the WVFI djs, especially the exec board. They were so cool to me, and just cool in general. They were so hip and so into music. And they had just started inviting me to parties and stuff. I went to one, and had a lot of fun. Drove a bunch of kids home (cuz I was the only person there that didn't drink ) and got to know them a bit. They even invited me to go out to Senior Bar to go dancing some night. But I was still a shy recluse and I turned down things I shouldn't have. Because now I sit here regretting it. I kinda wish I was still there so I could be hanging out with them at coffeehouses and going to concerts and parties and still DJing. I miss it so much. I almost miss ND more than SMC. Don't get me wrong, I love Wayne State. I've been having a lot of fun. I never expected this. People are so nice here. One thing I like is people hang around and talk more. At SMC, people went from class right back to their dorm rooms to IM or watch TV or whatever. Here, almost everyone is a commuter so you have to hang out on campus till your next class. So there's more opportunities to get to know people. And there's great people-watching. So many different kinds of people, so many nationalities and ethnicities. I'm almost a minority. It's fun. And everyone seems to get along. Perhaps this is just an idealistic view, but its what I see. I also find myself more willing to strike up conversations with strangers, like in the line at McDonalds. I've started to befriend a few people in the anthropology department. They're not really friends yet but we're on friendly terms. That's really nice because at SMC I never knew anyone in my department. No one would talk to me because it was just as cliquish as high school. But here its different and I'm starting to know some of the same people who are in all my classes and we hang out in between. They're all really nice to me and all, but I can't tell if I even have anything in common with them. I could call them for notes but I don't know if they'd ever want to hang out, or if I'd want to hang out with them. I don't mean to sound so picky, but if they're only interested in shoes, Gilmore Girls, and partying, I don't think the friendship would go too far. So that's why I'm down. I feel like I would've had a better chance at making friends with the WVFI people at ND. At least we shared a love of music, and they seemed to be kinda similar to me. Sometimes I feel like I blew it. I mean my senior year of college I fail my classes and ruin everything. Kimba had to go on without me, I had to go on without her, and I lost all chances at making new friends. But who knows what would've happened. Part of the problem was I was too shy to go out with them in the first place, so maybe I woulda just stayed in my room. Maybe Wayne is forcing me to leave and interact a bit. Doesn't mean I don't miss WVFI though. (And DJing. I miss that a lot. I had finally learned the boards and felt so proud to control them. I was having fun bringing in music and recruiting people to listen, and I had gotten a good portion of Gamespy to do so. It was great. Given another semester I coulda become an awesome DJ, more confident on the mic and maybe more amusing too. If only I'd had just another semester. What'd I'd give for that.. Heck, what I'd give for just one more show..)
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